S'mores Cream Pie (& acceptance)

Acceptance is hard.

Especially when it’s a less-than-stellar quality about ourselves that we have to come face to face with. Even if it’s not that big of a deal, even if it doesn’t make us any less of a caring or compassionate person, it’s a struggle to accept that the image we have of ourselves, or the idea of who we may be, doesn’t exactly measure up to the reality of what we are living.

For instance, I suck at this part.

The planning and the punctuality and the posting consistently.

It’s hard. I struggle with it. I put myself under an enormous amount of pressure to be the kind of writer/blogger/baker I imagine myself to be and I’m consistently finding that I just don’t measure up. And maybe I never will?

But I’m trying.

And I’m going to continue to try. Because how else am I going to get any better? Gain any traction? Actualize the vision within myself? (Ok, even I thought that one was hokey and I’m sorry.) Or hell, just even learn to give myself a little grace? To realize that it’s ok if I don’t get three or four posts up in a week, because sometimes it’s more important to celebrate your mechanic’s birthday with a S’mores Cream Pie than it is to ramble to a bunch of (very loving and lovely) strangers on the internet.

Don’t believe me? Make the pie. Celebrate your mechanic. You’ll be glad you did.

S’mores Cream Pie

For the crust:

1 ½ packages graham crackers

½ cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, melted and cooled

2 tablespoon granulated sugar

½ tsp. salt

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Pulverize the graham crackers in a food processor to very fine crumbs. Add in the butter, sugar, and salt and pulse until combined and the mixture resembles coarse sand.

Press into the bottom and up the sides of a 9-inch pie plate and bake in preheated oven for 7 – 10 minutes, until the edges are golden. Remove from oven and allow to cool on rack.

For the filling:

12 oz. evaporate milk

1 cup heavy cream

4 oz. bittersweet chocolate, roughly chopped

6 egg yolks

½ cup granulated sugar

3 tablespoon cornstarch

¼ cup cocoa powder

1 tsp. vanilla extract

Pinch of salt

2 tablespoon unsalted butter, at room temperature

In a medium saucepot warm the evaporate milk, heavy cream, and chocolate until the chocolate is melted and smooth.

While the chocolate melts, whisk the egg yolks, sugar, cocoa powder, and corn starch in a medium bowl until thick.

When the milk and chocolate mixture is smooth, slowly pour a small amount in the egg yolk mixture to temper it. Whisk until smooth before pouring back into the saucepot. Whisk to combine custard fully.

Cook over medium-low heat, whisking constantly, until mixture has thickened. When the streaks from the whisk remain in the custard while stirring, remove from heat and whisk in butter, salt, and vanilla.

Pour into a clean bowl, cover with plastic wrap to prevent a film from forming and cool for at least 30 minutes.

Once the custard is cool, pour into prepared pie crust and cover with plastic wrap. Place in fridge for at least four hours, preferably overnight.

When ready to serve, make a half batch of my merengue topping to cover pie generously. Carefully toast with kitchen torch before serving.